Happy New Year!!!

It's 2016!!!  I am officially a 40yr old.  I am not yet in my 40s though.  Haha...

I'll start with my last weigh in on 12/30-I was minus 1.6lbs for a grand total of 37.2lbs.  It is the lowest number I have had but I'm ok with it.  It is still a loss.  There are a few reasons it could be lower.  I switched fiber sources from Metamucil to Benefiber.  I had been doing 1tbsp of sugar free orange Metamucil every night.  When I ran out I went a few days with nothing and then decided to switch to Benefiber because it is "flavorless."  I do 2tsp three times/day.  Technically I think I am getting more fiber each day, but I feel like the Benefiber doesn't work as well.  I'm going to give the whole bottle a go though.  I also feel like my water intake probably went down and my runs went up a little so all of those things lead to my body is probably holding on to water and maybe I'm carrying around more solid waste...I'm a GI nurse, remember?  ;-)  So, long story short I am perfectly happy with my loss and am looking forward to the numbers the next 3 weeks will bring.  That is how long we have until transition.  Well, technically it's 3.5 weeks, but when the week starts I mark it off.  Call it my Pollyanna personality.  Ha!  I remember doing the same thing during school when I was a kid.

I feel like I should be terrified of transition.  I'm not.  I spent a large part of my life eating a fairly healthy diet or being a kid and eating next to nothing.  I have spent a much smaller period of my life overeating and not getting exercise.  I know that the habits I developed over the last 6 or so years will be hard to break, but I also hope that the old healthier habits I used to have will take over.  I have the benefit of lots of knowledge about what to eat and how to prepare it.  A lot of people do not have that going into transition.  One of the guys in my group is shocked at what a portion actually looks like.  I feel like I have a slight advantage.

I still haven't had a cheat and I don't plan to.  The people that have had cheats don't necessarily regret them, but they also say it wasn't a big deal and they got right back on plan.  I think I also have an advantage in that I live alone and I'm content to hang out alone or just go see movies or go on walks with friends.  I think that means I have less temptation.

I welcomed in the new year alone.  And in the past (for as long as I have been an adult) that has made me really sad.  This is the first year that I have not been sad about being single and childless over the holidays.  I also find myself enjoying my nights alone much more than I was.  I used to be sad that I was just sitting home alone when others were hanging out with their families or going out with friends.  It's more like I am choosing to be with myself and I am learning that I am a great person to hang out with.  Ha!  Just me and my pups.  NOT that I am a hermit!  Of course I love people, but I think it is really important to be able to enjoy your own company.  :-)  If you don't like to be around you then why would anyone else?  It will also give me the confidence to go out and meet new people.  I also received a rather obnoxious text from an ex.  He was pretty toxic (as was I) but we still send birthday messages or check in on each other every once in a while.  I was initially excited to see his text because it had been a while.  However the text came after I had received several calls from a number I didn't recognize (which turned out to be him.)  I don't answer calls I don't recognize.  I wasn't in a position to have a phone conversation so I let him know it wasn't a good time.  He responded by sending me a mean text saying that he would have thought I would be more "cosmopolitan or eccentric" by now and that I should just move to Oklahoma because I don't belong in California.  Sorry if anyone reading this is from the midwest, but he is from there as well and has the most insane hate for all things midwestern.  Anyway, I was shocked, but I simply replied that I'm sorry I was enjoying a NYE party and couldn't talk and that I wished him lots of love in 2016.  I don't intend to ever have any contact with him again.  In the past I would have gotten that text and it would have destroyed me.  This year I simply thought wow, he really doesn't know anything about me now and I will rise above this and I don't need someone like that in my life.  PS he is engaged and I am guessing they are fighting or on the verge of breaking up because that is his trend in contacting me.  So unhealthy!

Anyway, that text exchange and the fact that I actually enjoyed a holiday season alone and without any desire to binge when I got that text lead me to believe that I have done some great work on myself and that I may finally be finding my way out of the sadness I have experienced since my best friend passed away.  I used that as an excuse for so long and I think she would be happy to know that I am FINALLY doing the things that I love again.  I have even completed through week 7 of the C210K running app.  I am by no means fast, but that is ok!!  I know speed will come with time and I am feeling stronger with ever step I take-that sounds so cliche but it is true!  I have not been so optimistic going into a new year since I can remember (I think I already said that-BUT I MEAN IT!!)

Oh, I also found out who the nurse manager is for a job I applied to in San Diego.  The timing is horrible.  I would like to wait until May to start a new job but the job is right so we shall see!  I love Northern California and Southern equally, which is a sure sign I am not a native of either.  Ha!

Anyway, Happy New Year!!  May you meet all of your goals, but remember baby steps lead to long term success and help you avoid burn out!  If you have already been in the process of improving yourself then congrats and I know you will continue that momentum in 2016!!