Sort of...I think I mentioned that I count the week "over" for this journey when it starts. :-)
Anyway I am halfway through Week 14 at this point. Still ZERO cheats! I am really proud of that. However, I do agree that it is pointless to beat yourself up if you do cheat. On the other hand I don't think it is OK to give yourself permission to cheat just because nothing bad happened this time. First of all, as a nurse who has worked with patients at risk for referring syndrome I have seen electrolytes go nuts when you re-feed too fast. It's not a good thing! Also, the fact that nothing showed up on the scale this week doesn't mean that what you ate today won't show up next week! I let myself get away with binging for too many (6) years because I would have a "bad day" and then I wouldn't have a gain on the scale so I allowed it to continue. And then in 2 weeks I would be up another 2-3lbs and all those 2-3lbs added up to 100! So, for me personally I need to remember that cheating is only cheating myself and that there is a reason I gained all this weight in the first place. I will use that going forward into maintenance as well. I was always a healthy weight and when I think back during those healthy years I would MAYBE once a month eat a little extra but in general I didn't overindulge. I think one thing that helped me stay there is that I lived with a mother who was overweight and had several extended family members that were obese. I never thought I would join them in those ranks. Then, I became a travel nurse, worked crazy rotating shifts and was mostly surrounded by people of healthy weights. Sounds silly, but I truly think that was part of it-I just stopped paying attention! Of course, our facilitator has brought that up a few times-that people who are a healthy weight actually do think about what they are putting in their moths even though you don't hear them do it. :-) Lessons learned, right??
So this week I weighed in at 200.8lbs! So, that means this Thursday I will be under 200 for the first time since January 2008. Thank goodness. The last time I remember weighing myself besides right before I went to Boston. I remember because I went to Seattle that Sept and weighed in at 198 and I remember telling someone that I was dangerously close to the next century of weight and that I was terrified of getting there. I met the same people in Vegas that January and I was still the same weight. So anyway, I am very excited to hit 197 and feel like I am losing the 35 or so pounds that I gained on night shift in San Diego. :-) Sometimes I think back to my time in San Diego and it makes me sad that I left when I did, but I am so glad I went home and spent the next year with my best friend as she was dealing with her cancer and later passed away. It is frustrating though that when I left SD I was finally getting active again! Ah well. I'm finally get back there again!!
Today I did my C25K run. It was week 8 day 1 and was a 27min run. I was finally under a 15min pace for the run portion and I know it would have been slightly faster without the pups, but I'm not ready to leave them behind. ;-) They enjoy it too much. Plus Lucy still has weight to lose. Ha! And Lola just needs the exercise. She is still crazy after our 40min (total with the warm up and cool down.) I think I will be back in the 12min/mile range soon enough. And that is probably where I will hang out forever. :-) If anyone is thinking of doing it, I just want to say that you can run at any weight! Of course you should probably be walking first, but when I started this my run was a shuffle, literally. It was not what anyone would ever consider a run, and actually it was probably slower than my walk. BUT it uses different muscles and it def got my heart rate up higher. If you do it right you aren't necessarily at risk for more injuries (all about form and not landing on a straight leg.) I actually recommend wearing a chest strap HR monitor to force yourself to only go at a pace that isn't too much and to follow an interval program. It has worked great for me this time. And worked wonderfully for me in the 2001 when I first started running!
Ok, that's it! Next 2 weeks of group are all about food and transition so they should be really interesting!
Showing posts with label C25K. Show all posts
Showing posts with label C25K. Show all posts
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Happy New Year!!!
It's 2016!!! I am officially a 40yr old. I am not yet in my 40s though. Haha...
I'll start with my last weigh in on 12/30-I was minus 1.6lbs for a grand total of 37.2lbs. It is the lowest number I have had but I'm ok with it. It is still a loss. There are a few reasons it could be lower. I switched fiber sources from Metamucil to Benefiber. I had been doing 1tbsp of sugar free orange Metamucil every night. When I ran out I went a few days with nothing and then decided to switch to Benefiber because it is "flavorless." I do 2tsp three times/day. Technically I think I am getting more fiber each day, but I feel like the Benefiber doesn't work as well. I'm going to give the whole bottle a go though. I also feel like my water intake probably went down and my runs went up a little so all of those things lead to my body is probably holding on to water and maybe I'm carrying around more solid waste...I'm a GI nurse, remember? ;-) So, long story short I am perfectly happy with my loss and am looking forward to the numbers the next 3 weeks will bring. That is how long we have until transition. Well, technically it's 3.5 weeks, but when the week starts I mark it off. Call it my Pollyanna personality. Ha! I remember doing the same thing during school when I was a kid.
I feel like I should be terrified of transition. I'm not. I spent a large part of my life eating a fairly healthy diet or being a kid and eating next to nothing. I have spent a much smaller period of my life overeating and not getting exercise. I know that the habits I developed over the last 6 or so years will be hard to break, but I also hope that the old healthier habits I used to have will take over. I have the benefit of lots of knowledge about what to eat and how to prepare it. A lot of people do not have that going into transition. One of the guys in my group is shocked at what a portion actually looks like. I feel like I have a slight advantage.
I still haven't had a cheat and I don't plan to. The people that have had cheats don't necessarily regret them, but they also say it wasn't a big deal and they got right back on plan. I think I also have an advantage in that I live alone and I'm content to hang out alone or just go see movies or go on walks with friends. I think that means I have less temptation.
I welcomed in the new year alone. And in the past (for as long as I have been an adult) that has made me really sad. This is the first year that I have not been sad about being single and childless over the holidays. I also find myself enjoying my nights alone much more than I was. I used to be sad that I was just sitting home alone when others were hanging out with their families or going out with friends. It's more like I am choosing to be with myself and I am learning that I am a great person to hang out with. Ha! Just me and my pups. NOT that I am a hermit! Of course I love people, but I think it is really important to be able to enjoy your own company. :-) If you don't like to be around you then why would anyone else? It will also give me the confidence to go out and meet new people. I also received a rather obnoxious text from an ex. He was pretty toxic (as was I) but we still send birthday messages or check in on each other every once in a while. I was initially excited to see his text because it had been a while. However the text came after I had received several calls from a number I didn't recognize (which turned out to be him.) I don't answer calls I don't recognize. I wasn't in a position to have a phone conversation so I let him know it wasn't a good time. He responded by sending me a mean text saying that he would have thought I would be more "cosmopolitan or eccentric" by now and that I should just move to Oklahoma because I don't belong in California. Sorry if anyone reading this is from the midwest, but he is from there as well and has the most insane hate for all things midwestern. Anyway, I was shocked, but I simply replied that I'm sorry I was enjoying a NYE party and couldn't talk and that I wished him lots of love in 2016. I don't intend to ever have any contact with him again. In the past I would have gotten that text and it would have destroyed me. This year I simply thought wow, he really doesn't know anything about me now and I will rise above this and I don't need someone like that in my life. PS he is engaged and I am guessing they are fighting or on the verge of breaking up because that is his trend in contacting me. So unhealthy!
Anyway, that text exchange and the fact that I actually enjoyed a holiday season alone and without any desire to binge when I got that text lead me to believe that I have done some great work on myself and that I may finally be finding my way out of the sadness I have experienced since my best friend passed away. I used that as an excuse for so long and I think she would be happy to know that I am FINALLY doing the things that I love again. I have even completed through week 7 of the C210K running app. I am by no means fast, but that is ok!! I know speed will come with time and I am feeling stronger with ever step I take-that sounds so cliche but it is true! I have not been so optimistic going into a new year since I can remember (I think I already said that-BUT I MEAN IT!!)
Oh, I also found out who the nurse manager is for a job I applied to in San Diego. The timing is horrible. I would like to wait until May to start a new job but the job is right so we shall see! I love Northern California and Southern equally, which is a sure sign I am not a native of either. Ha!
Anyway, Happy New Year!! May you meet all of your goals, but remember baby steps lead to long term success and help you avoid burn out! If you have already been in the process of improving yourself then congrats and I know you will continue that momentum in 2016!!
I'll start with my last weigh in on 12/30-I was minus 1.6lbs for a grand total of 37.2lbs. It is the lowest number I have had but I'm ok with it. It is still a loss. There are a few reasons it could be lower. I switched fiber sources from Metamucil to Benefiber. I had been doing 1tbsp of sugar free orange Metamucil every night. When I ran out I went a few days with nothing and then decided to switch to Benefiber because it is "flavorless." I do 2tsp three times/day. Technically I think I am getting more fiber each day, but I feel like the Benefiber doesn't work as well. I'm going to give the whole bottle a go though. I also feel like my water intake probably went down and my runs went up a little so all of those things lead to my body is probably holding on to water and maybe I'm carrying around more solid waste...I'm a GI nurse, remember? ;-) So, long story short I am perfectly happy with my loss and am looking forward to the numbers the next 3 weeks will bring. That is how long we have until transition. Well, technically it's 3.5 weeks, but when the week starts I mark it off. Call it my Pollyanna personality. Ha! I remember doing the same thing during school when I was a kid.
I feel like I should be terrified of transition. I'm not. I spent a large part of my life eating a fairly healthy diet or being a kid and eating next to nothing. I have spent a much smaller period of my life overeating and not getting exercise. I know that the habits I developed over the last 6 or so years will be hard to break, but I also hope that the old healthier habits I used to have will take over. I have the benefit of lots of knowledge about what to eat and how to prepare it. A lot of people do not have that going into transition. One of the guys in my group is shocked at what a portion actually looks like. I feel like I have a slight advantage.
I still haven't had a cheat and I don't plan to. The people that have had cheats don't necessarily regret them, but they also say it wasn't a big deal and they got right back on plan. I think I also have an advantage in that I live alone and I'm content to hang out alone or just go see movies or go on walks with friends. I think that means I have less temptation.
I welcomed in the new year alone. And in the past (for as long as I have been an adult) that has made me really sad. This is the first year that I have not been sad about being single and childless over the holidays. I also find myself enjoying my nights alone much more than I was. I used to be sad that I was just sitting home alone when others were hanging out with their families or going out with friends. It's more like I am choosing to be with myself and I am learning that I am a great person to hang out with. Ha! Just me and my pups. NOT that I am a hermit! Of course I love people, but I think it is really important to be able to enjoy your own company. :-) If you don't like to be around you then why would anyone else? It will also give me the confidence to go out and meet new people. I also received a rather obnoxious text from an ex. He was pretty toxic (as was I) but we still send birthday messages or check in on each other every once in a while. I was initially excited to see his text because it had been a while. However the text came after I had received several calls from a number I didn't recognize (which turned out to be him.) I don't answer calls I don't recognize. I wasn't in a position to have a phone conversation so I let him know it wasn't a good time. He responded by sending me a mean text saying that he would have thought I would be more "cosmopolitan or eccentric" by now and that I should just move to Oklahoma because I don't belong in California. Sorry if anyone reading this is from the midwest, but he is from there as well and has the most insane hate for all things midwestern. Anyway, I was shocked, but I simply replied that I'm sorry I was enjoying a NYE party and couldn't talk and that I wished him lots of love in 2016. I don't intend to ever have any contact with him again. In the past I would have gotten that text and it would have destroyed me. This year I simply thought wow, he really doesn't know anything about me now and I will rise above this and I don't need someone like that in my life. PS he is engaged and I am guessing they are fighting or on the verge of breaking up because that is his trend in contacting me. So unhealthy!
Anyway, that text exchange and the fact that I actually enjoyed a holiday season alone and without any desire to binge when I got that text lead me to believe that I have done some great work on myself and that I may finally be finding my way out of the sadness I have experienced since my best friend passed away. I used that as an excuse for so long and I think she would be happy to know that I am FINALLY doing the things that I love again. I have even completed through week 7 of the C210K running app. I am by no means fast, but that is ok!! I know speed will come with time and I am feeling stronger with ever step I take-that sounds so cliche but it is true! I have not been so optimistic going into a new year since I can remember (I think I already said that-BUT I MEAN IT!!)
Oh, I also found out who the nurse manager is for a job I applied to in San Diego. The timing is horrible. I would like to wait until May to start a new job but the job is right so we shall see! I love Northern California and Southern equally, which is a sure sign I am not a native of either. Ha!
Anyway, Happy New Year!! May you meet all of your goals, but remember baby steps lead to long term success and help you avoid burn out! If you have already been in the process of improving yourself then congrats and I know you will continue that momentum in 2016!!
Friday, December 18, 2015
End of Week 10!!
So only 6 weeks to go and (5 weekends) before transition! It really feels like it has flown by!! This week I am down another 3.6 for a grand total of 32.2lbs. That's an average of 3lbs/week which is right on track. :-)
I am very happy with the weight loss. I'm feeling stronger and more like I will be able to meet my goals and get back to a healthy weight and enjoy staying there. I miss those days! Of course back then I thought I was fat at 155 (and I'm 5'8") so I wonder if anyone is ever truly happy with where their weight is at. I'm trying to think of it more as getting to a point where I can physically enjoy all the things I want to do and be comfortable doing them.
I have been stressed the last few weeks still about work. I'm considering making a change. I really love the vision I have in mind for how I want to function in ambulatory care, but when the director of your department and definitely not the practice administrator don't have that same vision it makes your vision seem impossible. It really would take all of those people to change my role which is why it is so frustrating!! I'm going to give it one more chat and if we can't make it work I think I'm going to go back to floor nursing while I finish my degree. There is a day shift position with the satellite unit of one of the major children's hospitals here. I am not crazy about the thought, but it is sort of a relief in a way too. I just really wish I could make this job what I want, but that's just not the way healthcare works. It makes me sad to think about it, but then I think about the pluses too: days off during the week, more money and feeling like a nurse again top the list. We shall see! I'm going to give it some thought the next couple of weeks before I actually apply (and talk to my current employers about whether they will ever be able to use me to my full scope of practice.) One thing I noticed is that in the past I probably would have stopped for pizza or ordered pizza and drowned my feelings in too many slices, but instead I had a good frustrated cry (it's also TOM so that does NOT help). The cry was cathartic and I'm hoping I'm thinking a little clearer. The other benefit to the position is that it gets me into a great health care system so that I have priority for jobs when I graduate! So I could get back into ambulatory or whatever and hopefully find something I really want. I really want my next job to be my forever job. Anyway, lots to think about and yeah me for not cheating!
On Rewards!
I have met 3 5lb goals so I bought myself a multi-cooker! I know I can't use it for a while, but it will be ready when I eat. This weekend I plan to get my apt cleaned up and find a spot for it on my counter top. :-) Our discussion this week was actually about rewards. I am rewarded every time I do my run/walk with beautiful views, a clearer mind (why am I not running when I come home frustrated?), loads of energy and feelings of confidence. I suppose those would fit into the physiological and psychological reward categories. I'm thinking a monetary reward would be putting money for some of my other rewards in a jar for doing things like strength training or drinking water or eating at my table or eating at my table in silence. :-) And non-monetary is apparently purchasing things (that doesn't make sense to me really, but I will take it.) So all the things I have already put on my reward list are those. :-) I don't remember the other types, but that's a good start. Ha! Think I'll start with strength training goals this week. I already have run/walk goals (I get to buy a song for my playlist with every week I complete of C25K). I should probably come up with a goal for completing the first 8 weeks since that is the 5k part and maybe another for the 10k part, etc. I guess I hadn't gotten very far on rewards. Anyway, for now I'll say for every strength workout I get to put $5 in a jar for fun stuff!
That's all for tonight! Best of luck wherever you are in your journey to whoever might be reading!
I am very happy with the weight loss. I'm feeling stronger and more like I will be able to meet my goals and get back to a healthy weight and enjoy staying there. I miss those days! Of course back then I thought I was fat at 155 (and I'm 5'8") so I wonder if anyone is ever truly happy with where their weight is at. I'm trying to think of it more as getting to a point where I can physically enjoy all the things I want to do and be comfortable doing them.
I have been stressed the last few weeks still about work. I'm considering making a change. I really love the vision I have in mind for how I want to function in ambulatory care, but when the director of your department and definitely not the practice administrator don't have that same vision it makes your vision seem impossible. It really would take all of those people to change my role which is why it is so frustrating!! I'm going to give it one more chat and if we can't make it work I think I'm going to go back to floor nursing while I finish my degree. There is a day shift position with the satellite unit of one of the major children's hospitals here. I am not crazy about the thought, but it is sort of a relief in a way too. I just really wish I could make this job what I want, but that's just not the way healthcare works. It makes me sad to think about it, but then I think about the pluses too: days off during the week, more money and feeling like a nurse again top the list. We shall see! I'm going to give it some thought the next couple of weeks before I actually apply (and talk to my current employers about whether they will ever be able to use me to my full scope of practice.) One thing I noticed is that in the past I probably would have stopped for pizza or ordered pizza and drowned my feelings in too many slices, but instead I had a good frustrated cry (it's also TOM so that does NOT help). The cry was cathartic and I'm hoping I'm thinking a little clearer. The other benefit to the position is that it gets me into a great health care system so that I have priority for jobs when I graduate! So I could get back into ambulatory or whatever and hopefully find something I really want. I really want my next job to be my forever job. Anyway, lots to think about and yeah me for not cheating!
On Rewards!
I have met 3 5lb goals so I bought myself a multi-cooker! I know I can't use it for a while, but it will be ready when I eat. This weekend I plan to get my apt cleaned up and find a spot for it on my counter top. :-) Our discussion this week was actually about rewards. I am rewarded every time I do my run/walk with beautiful views, a clearer mind (why am I not running when I come home frustrated?), loads of energy and feelings of confidence. I suppose those would fit into the physiological and psychological reward categories. I'm thinking a monetary reward would be putting money for some of my other rewards in a jar for doing things like strength training or drinking water or eating at my table or eating at my table in silence. :-) And non-monetary is apparently purchasing things (that doesn't make sense to me really, but I will take it.) So all the things I have already put on my reward list are those. :-) I don't remember the other types, but that's a good start. Ha! Think I'll start with strength training goals this week. I already have run/walk goals (I get to buy a song for my playlist with every week I complete of C25K). I should probably come up with a goal for completing the first 8 weeks since that is the 5k part and maybe another for the 10k part, etc. I guess I hadn't gotten very far on rewards. Anyway, for now I'll say for every strength workout I get to put $5 in a jar for fun stuff!
That's all for tonight! Best of luck wherever you are in your journey to whoever might be reading!
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