Thanksgiving....

Happy Thanksgiving!  I feel like a cheater...BUT it's not from food.  It's because I'm choosing to spend the day alone.  I didn't want to fly back home to KS mostly because I have a teenage niece and I don't think it's appropriate to share a diet like this with her.  I might get some backlash for that but here is why:  I grew up with an obese mother.  I have memories of her dieting as I was growing up-I could be imagining it but I vaguely remember things like grapefruit, cabbage and some paperwork so I know I was aware of her doing this as a child.  All the time I was growing up I was very thin (as in kids made fun of me for being really skinny-and I know some people who might read this might think oh, what a horrible problem, but really everyone has their own struggles and we shouldn't judge).  Anyway, I digress.  I was really thin and an extremely picky eater.  I for sure had some sensory issues with textures and my mom tells me once she force fed me spaghetti (that I don't remember, but I must deep down because I didn't eat spaghetti happily until I became an adult).  It wasn't until I got to college that I started really gaining weight.  Even then I was always in a healthy weight range, but thought I was overweight.  I think many of those issues go back to watching my mom struggle.  I remember telling her once when we were camping that I was always going to walk around with my stomach sucked in.  These aren't healthy thoughts and I don't think any kid should ever have to think about dieting.  They should be given healthy servings of whole foods.  We really shouldn't keep junk in the house and processed food shouldn't be their staples.  Unfortunately I work in a pediatric gastroenterology clinic where we are forced to have a fatty liver clinic and it appalls me that this clinic is even necessary!  I'm rambling again.  My point here is this, my niece is also thin and very tall.  Her friends are shorter and weigh in the 100lb range which is appropriate for their height.  She is around 135 and is 5'7" so well within a healthy range for her height.  Somehow she already thinks that she needs to be 100lbs.  She also came home from health class one day saying that she was told she's only supposed to have 500calories/day.  Clearly she misunderstood.  So we have a beautiful 13yr old kid who is already having body issues and has been surrounded by her mother and my mother who are constantly talking about food and dieting.  Most of the time she knew me when I lived there I was a healthy weight, but half her life I have been obese.  When I see her again I want her to see me making healthy choices so that she will continue to make healthy choices and not think she needs to ever do a rapid weight loss plan.  I just don't want her to focus.  If my other sister and I are her only 2 positive food influences that's ok as long as she has 2!  My plan is to go back in March for my nephews' birthdays and be very close to a healthy weight and enjoy my time with them without the stress of the holidays.

My friends here that are like my second family sometimes have people over, but I explained to them a long time ago that I wouldn't be spending it with them this year.  They will survive and are going to dinner at a lodge near the ocean with their other second family.  :-) I feel like I'm supposed to feel sad to miss out and not be eating, etc but I don't.  I'm losing weight and feeling stronger.  I know that it is only 1 Thanksgiving and 1 Christmas.  I know that in the future I will be able to enjoy making healthy choices at holiday dinners and have more fun with the kids.  SO there it is.  My cheat is avoiding the holidays.  :-)  Christmas movies and a walk with my dogs is on the schedule for today.  Maybe I will venture out to a movie in the theater, but right now I'm pretty comfy in my pajamas.  :-)

Weight update!
I have finished week 7 of the program (6 weeks of full fast).  I have not cheated one time.  I have slacked on water drinking a couple of times and when that happens I get headaches so I'm trying to make it a priority.  TOM is this week so I was slightly worried about what I would lose, but not because I knew if it was a small loss I would make up for it the following week.  Gotta love being a woman.  Plus they say everyone plateaus at a some point.
The verdict is...
This weeks weight loss 2.8lbs
Total weight loss 23.4lbs

So I'm right on track still to lose 2-3lbs/week which is my personal hope/goal.  I've been walking the dogs 30min per day minimum.  I've been moving more at work.  I've been doing my run/walk.  I did get behind so I'm on week 4.  Call it laziness, but I knew I would be off 4 days so I thought I would save the last 2 days for this long weekend rather than do it with the dogs.  They make it hard!  Too much pulling in other directions, etc.

I wish I could say I have a magic formula for the shakes, bars, soups, but it is what it is.  I'm good until people say "oh I could never do that" or "oh that must be so hard."  Then, I start to doubt myself that I can finish, but I can't continue to let other people influence what I think I can do!!  So I shut down those voices with I already completed 7 weeks, I'm almost halfway through and now I'm on the downhill.  One thing that is good is that I will be moving into continued weight loss with transition so it should keep me interested and will probably come at a time when I will finally be bored.

We just started bringing up transition a little last week.  I think some of the things I'm going to try now will help me.  For example, my goal is to eat at my table 3 nights this week starting tonight!  That should help me with mindful eating.  I think it's ok to text while I eat just because a lot of people would be having dinner with their family then and be talking so how is texting different.  I'm not sure I am ready to turn off the TV.  So for now it is just sit at the table, take my time (15-20min) and feel what it feels like.  I think I've been sort of practicing that now.  I have been trying to pay attention to every single bite.  OH!  Also, I have passed the 220 mark so I get my first reward!  I decided that the first thing I'm going to buy is cute small bowls!  I can use them in my eating soup at the table plan and hopefully it will keep me interested.  :-) I plan to go to our cute shopping street here and go to this little boutique store I really like!  I think that's all I have to say today!